AMBIVALENT INSECURE ATTACHMENT

By Cecilia Gutiérrez A., Psychologist NSW SLASA.

psychologist@nswslasa.com.au   

On previous weeks we have discussed the topic of secure attachment and the benefits it produces to establish a bond of this nature with our children. However, in this opportunity we will talk about insecure attachment and the consequences it poses in different dimensions of child development.

Basically, insecure attachment is characterised by ambivalent, incoherent and unpredictable responses given by parents when faced with biological and affective needs of their children; sometimes they answer their needs and sometimes they do not. This situation creates great uncertainty in the child, in the sense that he will not know when and how his mother will come to take care of him and answer his needs. When the mother’s response is changing and unpredictable, it creates in the child a great loss of sense of what is happening, of ambivalence, and control over his environment. This caring style produces in the child a sensation of abandonment, loneliness, and impotence provoking intense anxiety and preventing him from developing enough self-confidence. Damages caused by this king of attachment in the affective, cognitive and social dimension importantly deteriorate the children’s life quality and wellbeing. In the affective area, for example, the constant state of not feeling ‘loved enough and/or likeable’ influence negatively their self-esteem, self-concept, and the vision they have of the world. As children grow and join school setting, the social world they must face is more complex, and it is precisely in this context where the first difficulties begin to manifest themselves. 

According to Barudy (2005), specialist and researcher in childhood topics, children with an insecure attachment bond with their parents, present serious difficulties in school setting in cognitive, emotional, and social terms. The most frequent difficulties are poor school performance, which generally leads to school failure, attention deficit, learning disorders, and hyperactivity. In social terms, they present evident difficulties to be accepted by their peers, and constantly look for others approval, which leads to rivalry, jealousy, and possession. This behaviour will be developed not only during school phase but also during adulthood creating serious difficulties in psychological terms, and affecting significantly his life quality and wellbeing.